wondering where I fit

You ever wonder where you fit in life? I find myself thinking about that today, kind of tired with the Portland thing to be honest. The past two months of being here has been a difficult time, yet full of learning and joy in the midst of different struggles and instable circumstances.
I find myself wondering why I have this thing in me, maybe its called control of needing to know the future, know the now and that very thing fights with living freely. uh.
I got a job working at the zoo and I had my first official day this weekend. it kind of sucked to be again honest---think manual labor meets high schoolers...but this whole process has taught me some very valuable things about jobs, status, life, what advantages and disadvantages people carry and have, the fairness and unfairness of what happens in the world...you know, the usual. It all connects somehow and Iknow I will look back on these experiences and say "ah I get it" later on in life.
But for now, its in the up and down of thankfulness to looking at exact details of my life and getting annoyed. I think through all of this I figured out what I really wanted to do and jobs I want to look for and that is with the homeless/poor/socially disadvantaged whatever you would like to classify it as. I thought other avenues would be of benefit, but they truly aren't my giftings nor my passions and while it could teach me some valuable things, well I don't feel like deadening my soul in the process.
Well, thats life here. Thought about moving back to L.A. today in a default mode, I know I will be back there someday in some capacity but I'm not sure if it would be as soon as tomorrow, thought sometimes I would like it to be that way.