Jobless in the tundra

Is it a tundra? Flashbacks to school when we would talk about the different whatever they were. Actually, I'm in a freaking rainforest I believe, cold jungle perhaps.

This rain is relentless, I saw the sun a few times last week, but since then we've been on a straight shot of rain and more rain. Its becoming normal to me at this point, but still would like some happy rays of life and a warm beach, ahh fond memories of L.A. All the moisture is good for the skin and hair, so thats a plus anyhow.

Interestingly, I have been reflecting per usual and thinking about a year ago when I first came to L.A., I did a lot of journaling per typing on my computer so I have been re-reading my journal during that timeframe. Funny how you remember the end of something, someplace and I am noticing similar feelings in my journal entries a year ago as I am now. Places take time to adjust to and its during those times that your character gets painfully strengthened, it is kind of a good feeling at the same time. I'm sure I will re-read my journal entries a year from now and see all that has progressed and changed over that time.

It is ok and natural, normal to miss places, to let go of places through that process. I know Portland will become home to me at some point, I love that feeling--feeling settled where life thrives. Yet I continue to learn life thrives in other places and seasons too. Its just different. In some ways I do prefer the settling one/thriving one over the other. Allnecessary though.

Well, still on the job hunt. I'm focusing my efforts toward retail, yup retail. Took me a bit to accept this, but I feel certain about this and am quite excited about it. Feel is will be beneficial and necessary for my growth and connect with my future endeavors. Heard lately that sometimes dreams have to die in order to produce something more than what it first was. I think I'm in that, well, I know I'm in that period right now. To die in some ways doesn't necessarily mean to never have again, different kind of death I speak of...this one lives again in a more healthy, out of our capacity kind of way to produce more and be more than what is logical or what I can conjure up.

I miss the inner city. Have I said this? I miss a lot. But, I want to work and do with all my heart what I know I need to do now, which will give me a bigger perspective ofnew things I have not been immersed in.

Good news, have an interview next week with Nordstroms downtown (boosey area) of Portland. Feeling certain at this time that is where I want to work and will get the job. If it isn't then something better is up, however, feel I need to enjoy my time right now, wait for this interview, and serve and bring life to others in ways I can right now as I wait. Thats the direction I'm getting. Was going to apply at a temp job but just feel that isn't a "wise" choice right now, whatever that means. But yeah, waiting, just waiting...not sitting and doing nothing waiting, kind of, but waiting nonetheless.
Think I may traverse to Seattle perhaps for a day jaunt. Go to the ocean two hours away on another. Go to the DMV...thats fun. But necessary. Enjoy this time. I went to a hip hop class last week, like this dance studio I went to. They have a street jazz session tomorrow, gonna try it. Jay-Z here I come.